Fall On Your Knees

My roommate had a terrible scare in October: his father had to get triple bypass surgery. He asked if I could sub for him, since it wasn't known how many days that he would be gone.

I hadn't taught for a while, and I felt hesitant, sulking. But I went into school with his keys early, around 6am even. He works at ACE TECH, a charter high school on the southside (Garfield and State), I knew that the school was having a very difficult time because a student had collapsed suddenly in basketball practice and died. On the same day a student had been thrown out of a moving CTA bus window by students from rival school.

I started trying to come up with a lesson plan. I knew that I had to teach Hinduism. Sitting in a cold classroom that was not mine, no one else in the building.

I ended up putting the terms of a sheet, then of flash cards. I decided to break them up into groups and have them do Charades. I kept checking to make sure that I had the attendance days right, ACE TECH is very confusing because the students have A days and B days and completely different classes each day.

The students and teachers started to come in. Everyone was nice. The students were naturally riled since they had a sub, only a couple did the "substitute spin move", where they see me, run away, and then come a half hour later and explain how they were somewhere else and hope that you don't mention it, the odds generally being in their favor.

I was taking attendence when I heard screaming. The kids looked at the door. I asked very nicely "Would you excuse me for a moment, please remain in your seats" and walked to the door.
A girlfight was going on next door, two teachers had each girl but they were still dragging forward and finally the fight was on again. I stepped in between and took a light slap across the face, and then a heavier one. Being at a new school I didn't know if you were allowed to hit back like at CVS, but I must admit that the idea flashed in my head. We got them separated. There was thankfully very little blood but a ton of hair on the ground. Girls can be so unspeakably vicious in their violence.

I returned to my classroom and said "Sorry about that". These students were still in the classroom, although they had been watching. I wasn't really mad, just happy they hadn't left the school. Before they asked questions I introduced myself and explained that their teacher, my roommate's father was very ill and that he would not be here for sometime. I had big pieces of paper for them to sign, which they did and were very nice about.

The activity went really well, and the charades were great. Some really creative ones for reincatnation, karma, a brilliant one for atman brahman. The kids seemed to dig this. Meanwhile I was pulling all sorts of rabbits out of my hat to make sure that they did what I asked, because as a sub once you lose the kids you have no credible relationships or consequences, you are screwed.

For the last class on the second day I had to rap for them, which went well (GLC's flow in Spaceship). At the end of that day the principal asked me if I had any problems, and I said that everything was going great. He said that he had been eavesdropping on me and really liked what I was doing.

My roommate's dad had a successful bypass. After that I would come in and sub for three other teachers.

Until one day the principal asked me to come in and talk to him.

I arrived wearing my UPS uniform so everyone thought I was there for a package. The students who recognized me were very confused that I was wearing a different uniform. The principal had a good laugh when he saw me. He said that I had made a good impression on everyone, that everyone was asking me to sub for them, and he was very happy that I hadn't run out on him when I helped break up the fight, which he heard I was a part of later. He said that the special ed department needed help, and even though i wasn't certified, asked me if I wanted the job.

The thought of teaching again burned in me the whole time I was running around Humboldt park with package under the arm.

I took a long walk that night in the falling snow. The dark bleak Chicago with its white and orange lights, dark crosses of churches high in the sky, snow flakes falling.

I am not a Christian. But it was the first week of December, and as I walked by the half frozen Lake Michigan and shivered, staring into an unbroken darkness, I felt redeemed.

I have always liked serious Christmas carols and hated happy ones. O Holy Night is my favorite, so soothing at first, until the line "fall on your knees" something about the chords and the voice always makes me shudder.