My America -vs- Your America
I see the fun
I see the guns
You see the guns
But you don't see the fun...
You see the struggle
We just see the hustle
I love the high rise
You like the big houses
Your platinum and gas credit cards
Our bankrolls come in wars
U wanna gamble in Vegas
I rather shoot the 6's and 8's in the hallway
U take the time to figure us out
We try to see what you are really about
1st and 15th everybody I know happy
My CHA (Chicago Housing Authority) -vs- Your real estate
My America -vs- Your America
Am I an American?
Am I an American because I am free to see all the city lights shining among the people?
Am I an American because I bear witness to all the drugs on the street and all of their patrons?
Am I an American because I am a survivor of the terrorist attacks and was around to see it happen?
Am I an American because i was born in the United States, or have been afforded the opportunity to cross the border?
Am I an American because I speak English and Spanish alike?
Am I an American because I have toe freedom of the press to hear Bush say we are safe?
Am I an American because i smell spring coming in the morning sun or if I hear gunshots at night?
What really makes an American?
What I really think makes an American is someone who is truly happy with who they really are.
History Boys
I am not happy, but I am not unhappy about that. That is why I am a good teacher.
-The History Boys
-The History Boys
Falling Down
I woke up today in a horrible mood that did not change until the students came in, and then I cheered up and taught a lesson that went very well. I made them personally define history and collected all their responses, then using the unification of their responses, presented different things and asked them: Is this history? I presented them with a lot of music (welcome to jamrock, the corner, some music in Irish) a movie poster from the good, the bad and the ugly, an advertisement, a clip of an MLK speech and a random stick that I had picked up from the ground.
The discussion was very good and brought up a lot of good points about the relationship between history and memory, cultural ownership and co-ownership of history, the scientific past -v- lies written as truth. Each class was very deep.
After class one of the students that I had last year told me that he wanted to talk to me. He was one of the students in my reading group, so I am very close to him. He told me that his uncle had been missing, and on Friday the police found him dead in a car under the dan ryan. A women who was unknown was found dead in the car with him. They had been there for ten days.
The student had to go with his mother and grandmother to Cook County Hospital to identify the body. They left the student behind, but then when they returned he knew that his uncle was dead.
I met his uncle several times. He would come in with the grandmother, a very old women. He was paralyzed and in a wheelchair. Both are from Honduras, so I talked to them in Spanish. The uncle had really taken charge of making sure that the student was going to classes and working hard. The student really liked his uncle.
The cause of death has not been determined yet, but it sounds as though it may have been a double suicide. They should get the autopsy reports this week.
I had already helped this student last May when his other grandmother died.
There was not a lot that I could say, I just tried to keep him talking without making him more upset. He was very eerily calm.
When I finally left him I went to talk to his special ed teachers and the social worker. At first the conversation went well, but then one of the teachers was mad that the student hadn't spoken to her first: I admit that my own pride and vanity came into play, I was glad that I was the teacher he had trusted, but the conversation continued to make me angry.
So by the time I got to our full staff meeting, I was upset and angry.
And then the Director of Education decided to present the new incentive based pay schedule. It is a performance based salary structure.
The director tried to talk about how people always resisted what was right in education, that the state board, the CPS, the teacher unions and old teachers always fought against change at the cost of the students.
And then he looked at me and made a comment about me glaring at him and I just lost it.
I don't know exactly what I said but it was something like: you can push us to be better teachers and you should, but we have the right to push back and ask why you make Hispanic students take Spanish and not allow them to take French, why are class numbers and schedules still wrong after two weeks...and I just kept talking.
You know you did something when afterwards everyone text messages and calls you and wants to know if you are ok and you still have your job.
But then I got one, simple text message that calmed me down: half compliment, half complaint.
"You're all heart"
The discussion was very good and brought up a lot of good points about the relationship between history and memory, cultural ownership and co-ownership of history, the scientific past -v- lies written as truth. Each class was very deep.
After class one of the students that I had last year told me that he wanted to talk to me. He was one of the students in my reading group, so I am very close to him. He told me that his uncle had been missing, and on Friday the police found him dead in a car under the dan ryan. A women who was unknown was found dead in the car with him. They had been there for ten days.
The student had to go with his mother and grandmother to Cook County Hospital to identify the body. They left the student behind, but then when they returned he knew that his uncle was dead.
I met his uncle several times. He would come in with the grandmother, a very old women. He was paralyzed and in a wheelchair. Both are from Honduras, so I talked to them in Spanish. The uncle had really taken charge of making sure that the student was going to classes and working hard. The student really liked his uncle.
The cause of death has not been determined yet, but it sounds as though it may have been a double suicide. They should get the autopsy reports this week.
I had already helped this student last May when his other grandmother died.
There was not a lot that I could say, I just tried to keep him talking without making him more upset. He was very eerily calm.
When I finally left him I went to talk to his special ed teachers and the social worker. At first the conversation went well, but then one of the teachers was mad that the student hadn't spoken to her first: I admit that my own pride and vanity came into play, I was glad that I was the teacher he had trusted, but the conversation continued to make me angry.
So by the time I got to our full staff meeting, I was upset and angry.
And then the Director of Education decided to present the new incentive based pay schedule. It is a performance based salary structure.
The director tried to talk about how people always resisted what was right in education, that the state board, the CPS, the teacher unions and old teachers always fought against change at the cost of the students.
And then he looked at me and made a comment about me glaring at him and I just lost it.
I don't know exactly what I said but it was something like: you can push us to be better teachers and you should, but we have the right to push back and ask why you make Hispanic students take Spanish and not allow them to take French, why are class numbers and schedules still wrong after two weeks...and I just kept talking.
You know you did something when afterwards everyone text messages and calls you and wants to know if you are ok and you still have your job.
But then I got one, simple text message that calmed me down: half compliment, half complaint.
"You're all heart"
The First Week
I am currently sitting in the bar only 50ft from my house on a Saturday evening. This is mainly due to the fact that I do not have internet at school or the apartment right now, but the beer does taste good despite the hangover I had this morning (Spent 8 hrs at the bar, got drunk, gave a lot of high fives and threatened to kill the ex boyfriend of a teacher).
The first day of school was a lot quieter than the hell of a day I had last year, but it was obvious from the start that no one knew what they were doing. It is common for most schools to have schedules ready for students before they come to school, for teachers to have lists of who is in their classes, and for students to report to their classes during the first week of school.
Well, that didn't happen, so instead the students were herded around by advisory (homeroom), often having the same teacher for more than one period a day. The school is too small and we all have to share rooms, however some classes were double booked.
This was quite the challenge since I had to come up with generic activities that were captivating but not related to my class since many of the students that I had would not be in my classroom.
Still, chin up cheer up. My positivity was already waning in the face of a panic that told me that returning was a mistake, but I had a good week overall, woke up at five ready to rock.
Had some very interesting staff meetings with many people screaming about the most minute details. The most interesting meeting through came when we had to evacuate the school because of an out of control helicopter. I didn't quite understand the logic of being safer by leaving the building, but it was pretty funny to see 50 teachers crossing the street.
The helicopter did not crash into the school. I have mixed feelings about that.
First day of school was also our first soccer game. I was a nervous wreck. We drive a converted half bus (the coaches drive it) with kids crammed in seats and on the floor. We were all very excited, the players have been making a lot of progress in practice.
Which was why I was heartbroken when we lost our first game 8-2. Granted we were playing a school 5 times larger than ours in a top division. I wouldn't let them mercy us, and then I made out guys play their JV team later, who they beat 2-0. The players were exhausted after playing two games in a row but I figured we had a ways to go.
Had our second game and first league game on Thursday. We went to field and discovered that it had not been painted. Had to run back to the school and grab a ladder, wire, wire cutters, soccer nets, team eligibility roster, pictures, duct tape and of course spray paint with only 30 min to game time, while the other coach shuttled students to Washington Park. Had a student spray paint the field, he did a remarkable job until he decided to tag midfield which I probably should have seen coming. I kept having visions of a half pint of Jameson.
We won 2-0. 1-0 in the league.
The first day of school was a lot quieter than the hell of a day I had last year, but it was obvious from the start that no one knew what they were doing. It is common for most schools to have schedules ready for students before they come to school, for teachers to have lists of who is in their classes, and for students to report to their classes during the first week of school.
Well, that didn't happen, so instead the students were herded around by advisory (homeroom), often having the same teacher for more than one period a day. The school is too small and we all have to share rooms, however some classes were double booked.
This was quite the challenge since I had to come up with generic activities that were captivating but not related to my class since many of the students that I had would not be in my classroom.
Still, chin up cheer up. My positivity was already waning in the face of a panic that told me that returning was a mistake, but I had a good week overall, woke up at five ready to rock.
Had some very interesting staff meetings with many people screaming about the most minute details. The most interesting meeting through came when we had to evacuate the school because of an out of control helicopter. I didn't quite understand the logic of being safer by leaving the building, but it was pretty funny to see 50 teachers crossing the street.
The helicopter did not crash into the school. I have mixed feelings about that.
First day of school was also our first soccer game. I was a nervous wreck. We drive a converted half bus (the coaches drive it) with kids crammed in seats and on the floor. We were all very excited, the players have been making a lot of progress in practice.
Which was why I was heartbroken when we lost our first game 8-2. Granted we were playing a school 5 times larger than ours in a top division. I wouldn't let them mercy us, and then I made out guys play their JV team later, who they beat 2-0. The players were exhausted after playing two games in a row but I figured we had a ways to go.
Had our second game and first league game on Thursday. We went to field and discovered that it had not been painted. Had to run back to the school and grab a ladder, wire, wire cutters, soccer nets, team eligibility roster, pictures, duct tape and of course spray paint with only 30 min to game time, while the other coach shuttled students to Washington Park. Had a student spray paint the field, he did a remarkable job until he decided to tag midfield which I probably should have seen coming. I kept having visions of a half pint of Jameson.
We won 2-0. 1-0 in the league.
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